I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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