Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
