her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
