he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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