8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
