I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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