he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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