I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
