i permit you to call me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
