Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
