I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
