Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
