Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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