You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I could make wine with my vomit
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
