Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
