Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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