alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
