I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am naked and annoyed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
