I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
ttyl tear gas
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize