Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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