Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
