Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
