Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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