I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
