Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I love you.
Bad choice
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
