You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
