Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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