How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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