would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize