What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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