drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
