She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
