who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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