It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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