Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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