It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
