Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
