? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
