For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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