Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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