There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she smelled like a LAN party
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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