i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
