He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
