I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize