I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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