I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
