if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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