Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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