I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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