we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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