these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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