Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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