Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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