he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
