remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize