So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sext me about skeletons
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
