AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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