If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
