things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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