Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
