I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
